Christopher Heimarck

 

Story and Dream

 

A Hotel 500 Stories Tall

 

Yes, there are hotels that are 500 or 1000 stories tall.  When you take the elevator it goes so fast all you can do is hold on to the wall of that elevator and hope you’re not going to die----  It goes so fast.  You can check into the hotel.  You look over the edge and you don’t know how far you are from the ground.  These are very tall buildings.  Over the edge of the balcony at the check in center is a drop of perhaps a mile of space through other hotels and shopping centers.  At one time you were promised a place up there in a building, perhaps 100 stories up, where there were long term apartments and extended stay hotel rooms.  You argued with the man and pointed out that you had been promised a place.  Over and above it all is the daily conflict of a big city:  the blood on the pavement in the morning, the blood all over the face of a man who sits on the curb.  He has been hit or slashed, and he just sits there.  A Buddhist next to you with only optimism and love points out that that is the location of a future restaurant.  “They’re going to build a restaurant there,” he says, as if he cannot see the blood on the fellow’s face.  People with money.  People without money.  The gap between the rich and the poor.  The racial conflict.  Racial mixing and how people are in favor or against that.  Over and above all of this is the hotel complexes area, buildings 500 to 1000 stories tall.  There was a wedding at a Radisson.  Radisson is very much typical of this kind of place, a place where people can relax and play games, but not on the ground floor.  The mezzanine.  A lounge where people hear music playing.  You sit down with a relative in a hotel bar, and two women sit nearby.  After overhearing your conversation with your relative, these women are scornful.  “They don’t know anything,” says a woman.  It seems that if we knew something, I thought, we would be ambitious.  We would want money and love and sex.  We would be exchanging ideas about how to use connections and how to meet people who might be influential, who might help us get what we want.  But neither you nor your relative are married, and a prosperous life based in the suburbs seems a million miles away.  Yes, there are hotels.  There are gift shops selling postcards.  As you walked closer to the ocean, one man said to another outside of an expensive hotel, “Check out time.”  The implication being that this is a big hotel, this planet, and the homeless themselves are the ones who have checked out.  Were they forced out of the indoor hotel?  Or did they leave willingly?  You hear a story of an alcoholic who froze to death in a bus shelter one winter night.  And for some of them, there is no way back in.  They are either in or out.  This society, as of 2009, has no room for the weary, no rooms for the suffering.  You need money.  “You’ve got to have some money in this land of milk and honey.”  As you pass some homeless fellows at the salvation army, they turn to each other and laugh.  You are the fool walking past, thinking that he is somebody, when in fact he is on the path to homelessness, according to these fellows who are down on their luck.  In a smaller city you walk past homeless people, but they grow very angry if you do not acknowledge them.  “Look at me, look at me,” they shout.  Meanwhile the gap between the rich and poor grows ever-wider.  As our society grows toward another kind of civil war.  All corporations are hotels, with a hoteling function, providing temporary spaces for you to be, while you get some work done.  Offices are not permanent.  Most offices are cubicles.  Some cubicles are reserved for you only for 1 or 2 days.  I overhear someone being fired, or who has just been fired.  Is there an overlap between a mafia and an organization or a corporation?  Corporations need money to live.  Corporations are living things.  Living beings.  Money is the food, the life blood, for the living being, for the corporation.  But in another sense, we are living within a shopping center.  Is there a way out of this damnation, out of this shopping center?  We all are under an obligation to make a living, or die.  People don’t like to see someone relying on government money.  So we are within a system of selling.  We are within salesmanship.  We are in a shopping center.  Turn on the TV set, and all you see is advertising.  The advertising often is based on insult comedy.  Or desire.  The main character goes through the corporate world as a warrior.  Knowing that his every move might be monitored.